Greetings from Danish...

Have you ever had a tough weekend filled with bolting headaches?

Well, I just had a really tough weekend. I get migraine headaches every so often, usually caused by intense eye strain. Driving in a car without tinted windows for four hours creates a lot of eye strain, and by the Friday evening on our weekend road trip, I got a migraine. What made the situation more difficult is that this particular migraine lasted an unusual three days, taking up a huge chunk of time where I could have been having a fun and fulfilling time with my friends.

Old thoughts of depression came back into my head as I felt deprived, once again missing out on a great time. The group's interactions triggered memories of my childhood, filled with frustrations and disappointments for me. Like a downward-spiral, I felt like I was in one of life's darkest moments.

I felt so bad. Why is it that I can feel so much pain in my life? I felt I had lost the will to live. So I wouldn't consistently feel the immense pain, I occupied my thoughts by catching up on hundreds of e-mails and doing other administrative tasks.

I shared with a friend some of the triggers that lead me into my depressive thoughts. Intellectually, I understood that these were triggers and I could change my feelings by changing my perspective. In fact, there is something that is magical that happens when we share something from our mind out loud into the universe. I got that the triggers were arbitrary and therefore didn't mean anything. My perspectives were completely artificial and made up. My friend asked me "What are you committed to?" and I was reminded of what my standards were for my thoughts in my life.

I woke up this morning feeling great. "I want to live", I thought. I feel fortunate to have great friends who support me in having the life I am committed to. It's weird for me to think that just two days ago, I felt the way I did. I don't know why I go through this. It doesn't make any sense to me.

I know that I will go through those moments from time to time -- moments that don't make any sense -- and that's the way it is.

I can't be positive each and every moment of my life. Sometimes I just need to go through what I need to go through. You may have such moments, too. The beautiful part is that you will always get through those moments.

Love,

[)anish /|hmed
have fun creating your life

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